*Originally posted on Instagram

The journey has not been comfortable…social media often does not show you the hard parts of life. I am about to open up about my body image.

If you have followed me here for a bit, you know I was on a journey to get strong and lean. Something I worked very hard on for many years. I grew up pretty lean but never liked my body, and as I got older, I became more obsessed with trying all the fad diets, juice cleanses, etc.

Reflecting back, I think for me, it’s about control. There have been many things in my life that felt out of my control, childhood, illness, and so on.

When I started to really learn how to eat and how to train and that 100% of fat loss comes from nutrition I gained full confidence and control. I felt empowered. I was stronger, I felt better and I looked better. You can see that reflected in those first 2 photos. ( I had an excellent coach who helped me with this)

The 3rd pic is from today. I have stumbled, I have gained a great deal of body % fat back. I worked so hard to have let it all go. I am pretty upset with myself. This was one of my fears with my surgery that I would lose the progress.

I did not even take a photo in 2019 of my body, because I struggle now to eat lean protein and veggies.

I was at about 20% body fat now at 33%, my highest ever. I was recently measured at the gym and shocked. I am very disappointed in myself.

I still workout 4x a week with LISS cardio and yoga here, and there, this 100% proves nutrition is the only way to lose fat. I thought about a crazy diet or cleanse, but I know in my heart & from science, the only thing that works is a calorie deficit.

Nutrition and calorie deficit are the only way to lose fat and keep it off.

Back on the horse, I will go. I am sure I will stumble, but I hope you see an update in a few months that I am back to hitting my goals.

This is the one area of life I want to control…anyone else know how that feels?

And I am grateful, and I have been through a lot, and yes, I am still struggling with Endo, but those are excuses. I can do better, we can always do better.

Thx for reading. xo